{"id":83,"date":"2008-08-01T13:51:29","date_gmt":"2008-08-01T20:51:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/?p=83"},"modified":"2008-08-01T13:51:29","modified_gmt":"2008-08-01T20:51:29","slug":"friday-aug-1st","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/?p=83","title":{"rendered":"Friday, Aug 1st:"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chloe and Colin were to come home today from Dave and Ramona\u2019s house, however, there was a surprise.\u00a0 <\/span>Jordan, their stepbrother from out of town, dropped by before going off to college.\u00a0 <\/span>The kids just adore him so they asked to stay until Sunday.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0The ever accomodating Mama agreed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The kids had a great visit with their grandparents and finished up the early stay with movies in the park.\u00a0 <\/span>Even with lots of popcorn and cotton candy Chloe did well.\u00a0 <\/span>My stomach would have complained a bit after that but hers was only a little bit agitated.\u00a0 <\/span>One more step forward.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

There is an eating diary being held so that the information can be given to the dietician on Monday.\u00a0 <\/span>It will be great if they step the continuous feeding down a bit more.\u00a0 <\/span>Chloe definitely wants her own food.\u00a0 <\/span>Anyone wanting to donate grazing foods to either household for her, while she\u2019s wherever, is welcome to do so.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Chloe continues with a pretty good quality of life and is doing all she can to bounce back from the surgery and long hospital visit.\u00a0 <\/span>The family is also doing all it can to regain some \u201cnormality\u201d and get back into the necessities of the daily grind.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So many people have stepped up and offered support and well wishes.\u00a0 <\/span>Everything that comes our way is sent from the heart.\u00a0 <\/span>At one point I felt I needed to bring up some suggestions of how to approach someone going through a catastrophic illness.\u00a0 <\/span>This was the result of some who just were unaware that what they said may just be taken or heard in a hurtful way.\u00a0 <\/span>It seemed to do well for quite awhile.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Although Chloe is showing every sign of moving forward out of this ordeal, it\u2019s still a very serious time, and will be for a long time to come.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

WARNING\u2026 WARNING\u2026WARNING\u2026. RON\u2019S SUGGESTIONS FOLLOW\u2026\u00a0 <\/span>YOU CAN BAIL OUT NOW IF YOU\u2019D LIKE.<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In my past experience it was very helpful when people followed a simple to do or not to do list provided by our support group.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019ll try to paraphrase it for you.\u00a0 <\/span>It may just make communicating your feelings a little easier in this and other situations.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To Do:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Feel free to treat your friends as you always have.\u00a0 <\/span>This is a time for you to act normal.\u00a0 <\/span>Normal is comfortable. Invite them to do things you would have done in the past.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n
  2. \u201cI can\u2019t imagine what you are going through.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>(Even if you can.\u00a0 <\/span>It goes over better than \u201cI can imagine what you\u2019re going through.)<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. \u201cYou have my full support.\u00a0 <\/span>Please let me know if I can do anything.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>(Only if you are sincere.)<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. \u201cYou are doing a great job.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. \u201cI\u2019d like to (fill in the blank)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 <\/span>for you.\u00a0 <\/span>When would be a good time to do this?\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Be specific about what you want to do for them.\u00a0 <\/span>Walk the dog, mow the lawn, clean a bathroom, etc.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s easier for them to say thank you than to ask, \u201ccan you do such and such for me.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. Anonymous financial help is ALWAYS A BLESSING.<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. \u201cI\u2019ll pray for you and see you all as Healthy, Happy and Whole.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. \u201cI believe in miracles and you are the type they are delivered to.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. \u00a0<\/span>\u201cYou are looking great!\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>(Not if they are looking terrible though.)<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n
  10. \u201cAre you taking care of yourself?\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cLet me help by doing\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Not to do:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Please don\u2019t share your story.\u00a0 <\/span>It really doesn\u2019t do anything to console.\u00a0 <\/span>The Uncle Harry stories don\u2019t compare with this one, whatever this one might be.<\/span><\/li>\n
    2. \u201cI\u2019m glad it\u2019s you and not me\u201d has to be at the top of this list. <\/span><\/li>\n
    3. \u201cI can imagine what you\u2019re going through.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>(Good chance you can\u2019t.) <\/span><\/li>\n
    4. \u201cI\u2019m so glad my kids aren\u2019t going through this\u201d also is right up there in the no nos. <\/span><\/li>\n
    5. Along that line of thought. \u201cI don\u2019t know what I\u2019d do if my child ever had\u2026..\u201d <\/span><\/li>\n
    6. \u201cLet me know what I can do to help\u201d is useless unless you truly mean it and can come through on your offer.\u00a0 <\/span>If you can\u2019t help that is just as good.\u00a0 <\/span>Being support by being a good friend means a lot.<\/span><\/li>\n
    7. \u201cEverything happens for a reason\u201d is not appropriate.\u00a0 <\/span>Don\u2019t expect this line to go over well with someone going through the worst thing in his or her life.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n
    8. \u201cI\u2019ll pray that whatever happens is for the highest good.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Again\u2026. What does this offer a person in a terrible situation?<\/span><\/li>\n
    9. \u201cDoctors don\u2019t know anything.\u00a0 <\/span>They are just plain stupid.\u00a0 <\/span>You should do fill in the blank.<\/span><\/em>\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
    10. \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what causes this\u2026\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>(And Al Gore invented the internet\u2026.)<\/span><\/li>\n
    11. \u201cI have a cure for \u2026.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Everyone knows what to do or not to do if they just think a minute before they speak.\u00a0 <\/span>This is one of the best pieces of advice we found.\u00a0 <\/span>Let the other person speak\u2026 then breath a few seconds\u2026 collect your own thoughts\u2026 and then respond appropriately.\u00a0 <\/span>They don\u2019t require a rapid reply.\u00a0 <\/span>They aren\u2019t going anyplace.\u00a0 <\/span>You will find that this will help so much better than if you accidentally say something and get a guarded look back after saying it.\u00a0 <\/span>Then you have to stumble around while you take your foot out of your mouth.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

      If any of the things on the list hit home PLEASE don’t take offense.\u00a0 Nothing is pointed at any individual and nobody is being blamed for saying anything out of line.\u00a0 This is mearly a guide that I found helpful before and would be helpful to us now.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

      Again, you all have been so nice and supportive.\u00a0 <\/span>You have been a huge blessings to all of us going though this.\u00a0 <\/span>We hope you never forget your part and will be with us forever.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

      Blessings,<\/span><\/p>\n

      Ron<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Chloe and Colin were to come home today from Dave and Ramona\u2019s house, however, there was a surprise.\u00a0 Jordan, their stepbrother from out of town, dropped by before going off to college.\u00a0 The kids just adore him so they asked to stay until Sunday.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The ever accomodating Mama agreed. The kids had a great visit with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-83","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-news-post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=83"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/83\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=83"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=83"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.chloewatts.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=83"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}