ChloeWatts.com

Sunday, Nov 1st, 2009

November 1st, 2009 Posted in Daily News Post

It’s Sunday and for a week now I’ve been trying to figure out how a sphere the size of a small marble could screw up so many lives.  It’s not an atomic bomb or an earthquake in downtown New York City.  It’s a little piece of un-cooperating cells forming a tumor in a little head that is filled with only good thoughts for the world and its inhabitants.   

Since Monday those of us deeply connected with this situation have been going through all sorts of psychological changes.  There is confusion for sure.  Chloe has had no symptoms for a long time now and has been energetic, happy and healthy.  She is so much taller and a little heavier than she has ever been.  So what’s with the newest MRI pictures?  There is no way this thing has grown.  It just doesn’t make sense. 

Colin, age 14, is in a cloud.  I’m not sure he fully understands what we are facing once again… or maybe he’s just in denial of it all as a way of self-preservation.  We know he is an extremely sensitive individual so it’s not a matter of him just ignoring it… or is it… 

My days just tend to go on by with nothing really important happening.  My mind is switched on but my senses aren’t.  It’s sort of like walking through a dream… or nightmare… once again.  I keep thinking, or dreaming, of different cures that haven’t been addressed yet.  Is there a way of freezing this thing?  How about super microsurgery?  What about attack genes that get implanted in other types of tumors?  Cut the blood supply off to this thing and let it shrivel up.  Something new has to be out there and available for us. 

Dana is just worn out.  She doesn’t need another person asking her how she is or what’s going on with Chloe.  If you haven’t been through something like this then you have no idea how draining those heartfelt, sympathetic questions can be.  Even if it comes from a best friend it is just too much as it brings things into a reality you are just trying to escape for a short period of time.  She loves all of you who are filled with concern but she needs her space from all the questions.  Tonight she is in her cave, alone, trying to keep herself busy to stave off those thoughts.  This blog is designed to keep you informed so I hope you will be back to it often.  We will try and keep the updates there. 

And then there is Chloe, who can laugh at the drop of a hat but has that inner sadness that is so hard to witness.  You can just smell the wheels turning in her mind with a million thoughts bouncing all around.  She doesn’t want to go through surgery again but she knows that is a real possibility.  When she thinks about it she starts making deals…. I’ll do this if they promise not to do that…  How else is an old 10 year old supposed to process something of this magnitude? 

So, that’s Sunday.  The two adults are away in their sanctuaries.  The two kiddos are at their dads’ house.  And Wednesday is coming way too soon… and way to far from now.  Be well and please be in prayer as we continue to walk in our fog. 

Blessings,

Ron