Because We Love Her

I think it’s Tuesday, June24th: From Dana

June 24th, 2008 Posted in Daily News Post

Everyone deserves their moment. I am unable to imagine how Chloe will describe this adventure in the days to come. For now here is a tidbit I’m okay with sharing.

Late nights in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) are mystical I’ve decided. There is no distinction of time there, not really. (No window there helps this feel factual.)

Two nights ago, perhaps, Chloe and I were on our way to seeing midnight together, when a moment of complete surrender began to unfold. To back up a bit (do I do anything in regular order?) I must admit noises have bothered her a lot here. TV, Voices, beeping sounds from Harold (the IV Pole)) but on occasion she would want to hear lullabies from the CD player I brought in. One night she only wanted me to sing her lullabies. I’m okay with this but not always in the best mental state for recalling all the words.

In fact, a song came to me two nights ago. It’s called Baby Mine (Allison Krause version). I didn’t have the CD with me (I do now) so I began to rewrite it using the following words. I don’t know why I’m compelled to share this. Maybe its for someone out there, maybe for Chloe…could be… for myself, as I just now begin to process this enormous event and the outpouring of Love for her we have received. Keep in mind the characters, which may confuse some of you. Ivey is our dog at home, Harold is the IV pole that feeds/medicates Chloe, Fred is her tumor and the button is her own remote control to extra pain meds when it becomes unbearable.

Baby Mine

Baby Mine dry your eyes
Baby Mine what a surprise (finding out it was a tumor I mean here)
Brave and strong, finding your way
to better days
Chloe of mine

Baby mine go to sleep
I’ll watch Harold, wont let him beep
Push your button when you feel the pain
making your gains
Chloe of mine

When I see you struggle so
deep inside, there’s something I know
You were sent to lighten our load on earth
I’m so grateful you chose me to birth you

Baby Mine try to dream
like you did last night of Ivey , it seems
One more day of feeling this way
On with your life
Chloe of mine

Goodbye Fred, you’re not welcome here
We discovered you, now disappear
No good byes just realize
You must move out of
Chloe of mine

Baby mine thank you for teaching us
to love, forgive and be more unified….

Baby Mine so many care
Helping you here and there
All is well, this isn’t hell
We’ll make you well
Yes baby of mine

Baby Mine don’t you know
you’ll check out of here
and you’ll grow
You’ll know more than ever before
our teacher once more
Now lets head for the door.

Chloe you are my hero. Thanks for you. “Mamaloon”

To everyone else, I don’t know how to say what I want or need to at this time. For now, I trust Chloe is exactly where she needs to be. And for that matter, myself too. There’s a yellow brick road here (yes, REALLY, in the children’s garden) and we all know where that leads. For now we’ll just follow, follow and trust that home is wherever we are.

***********

That was all Dana. I can’t top it so I’ll just sum up what I know of the day.

Chloe woke to vomiting. This was a step back, however, the rest of the day moved forward. Her doctor, number three of the team, saw her for the first time today. It was the second woman doctor of the three-doctor team. I’m told she is a nice fit.

The numbers were up enough to have her move back into her room. Before that she would have to see a visitor. Blaze, and very nice golden lab, complements of Susan McKey’s friends, showed up to boost her spirits. I know it did as she loves these dogs.

Soon after she was moved to her room. We will probably bring her to the garden later but that’s a three-person job. She will need her wheelchair, as her strength is still low.

Tomorrow will be even better, I’m sure of it. Chloe wants to go home ASAP and is working hard toward that goal. She knows you all are praying for her and is very appreciative of that. Keep it up. She will.

  1. 172 Responses to “I think it’s Tuesday, June24th: From Dana”

  2. By Lyne Collin (Montreal Canada) on Jun 25, 2008

    Thank you so much for sharing this Dana AND sharing Chloe with us. I feel very privileged and humbled. This was beautiful to read, but it pales in comparison with the beauty that is Chloe !!!

  3. By TJ on Jun 25, 2008

    You are soooo strong Dana! An inspiration to us all! Thank you for sharing that. Chloe is so brave and I know she gets her spunkyness from you! Hang in there all of you! You have a lot of people praying, sending positive thoughts and rooting for all of you!

  4. By Linda Daiber on Jun 25, 2008

    Prayers and best hopes continue for you all…Chloe is amazing! Dana, thank you for sharing your inspiration with us. Beautiful mother’s words….

    Linda

  5. By Laura on Jun 25, 2008

    Dana, your lullaby had me in tears. I can imagine Alison singing it. And it’s great to hear Chloe ackowledge that, albeit slowly, she is making her way back home. Namaste

  6. By Grandma Lee on Jun 26, 2008

    Hello you two. I can’t wait to get there to be with you both. And Colin and Daddy too. You know I am there in prayer daily. And I love you with all of my heart. Chloe, is there something special that you would like for Grandma to bring you? Be sure and let Mama know so she can tell me. For anyone who doesn’t know, Chloe has always been a gift from God. He sent her to us for a special reason, and We are blessed. Chloe, you haven’t mentioned Max. Is he still with you? Love to you Sweetheart, Grandma will see you soon.

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