ChloeWatts.com

March 17, 2009 St. Patrick’s Day

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  It’s a wish, not a statement.  However, it’s a sincere wish for all of you who have followed and supported this website over the past many months.  Chloe, Dana, Colin and I have all benefited from your love and generosity.   

Now there’s a word to ponder, Generosity.  It’s something that springs up out of the souls of those who know what it really means.  They are the ones who don’t care about the recognition it brings.  They may be the ones who leave something on a doorstep without any tell tale signs of from whom it came.  Maybe it’s the person who drops by the hospital room when the patient is asleep just to sit with them for a while.  It could be someone who spends a few minutes each day in a deep sense of caring and prayer for someone in need.  For sure it is the people who know what it means to give from the heart without attachments or conditions.   

Unfortunately, some feel generosity is a negative term.  They feel it is a sign of weakness to accept generosity.  After all, aren’t we all supposed to be self-sufficient beings, needing nothing from anyone?  Isn’t the head of the household supposed to be in full control of all situations and never in need to receive any help from the “outsiders”?   

This just reminds me of how I feel generosity works.  If you have in your hand a pile of one hundred dollar bills how would you hold it?  Would you squeeze your fingers tightly over the pile of cash to make sure it didn’t get away?  That would surly be the way to hold on to what is rightfully yours.  Or would you hold that pile in an open palm, knowing that some would leave if a necessary breeze blew?  Would that be the way to hold the bills? 

What if more bills were to blow your way?  Which hand would be ready to receive those bills?  Would the fist just punch the new bills away in fear that some of what was there might leave?  Would the open palm just happen to catch some and be grateful for the gift?  That’s life’s generosity as far as I’m concerned.   

We have met so many of the open palm people on this journey that it’s nice to know there are others like us.  (Did you catch that?  Like Us.)  On this St. Patrick’s Day we wish upon those of you, with the open palm, that proverbial pot of gold.  For those of the fisted palms, we wish upon you… that proverbial pot of gold. 

Next Friday, the 27th, will be Chloe’s next MRI.  This is a biggie for us.  Chloe went through a lot of changes since her surgery.  First she gained weight like a gazelle and then she grew 3 ½ inches and then she thinned out again.  Thankfully the doctors feel it is a natural part of the growth spurt and that she may have just gained a little too much too fast.  Friday will give us more answers.  My belief is that it will show us Chloe is growing just fine and the tumor is not. 

How has the family been doing over these past many months?  As I am only witness to those of the immediate family, Chloe, Colin, Dana and Me, I can only answer for us.  It’s been a ride.  Dana and I have been engaged for over a year and still don’t have a date in sight.  It’s one of those things we’ll get around to ‘when the time is right’ but, for now, we are just trying to go it day by day battling one road block at a time and treasuring one success at a time.   

Chloe has grown physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially.  She reads and writes like there is no tomorrow… although we all know there are many more tomorrows.  

Colin has become a teenager and is enjoying all the magical moments that title brings along with it.  

Dana is focused.  Her number one concern is the kids and making sure they are protected and taken care of.  For her, putting aside so many of her wants and needs comes easily, but not painlessly.  She knows Chloe and Colin are only in the home for a short number of years.  Those years, once gone, no amount of generosity can return.  The return will be in the love received from them in the future, as they will know her sacrifices.   

Me, I’m looking for a bright future.  There’s so much to do and so much to experience that it’s sometimes overwhelming.  Having someone who loves me as Dana does helps tenfold.  I thank God for her nightly.   

Which brings this note full circle.  Thank God for all of you.  Thank you for helping and loving Dana, Chloe and Colin.  They are a trio worth all of your generosity. 

Blessings,

Ron

Cont’d “Toast” This is March 9, 2009

(please read the former blog to understand this one) To continue Chloe’s Thanksgiving toast she wrote and spoke in front of her fourth grade class…..

“Another thing I am thankful for is my lizard because he is crazy.  He’s a dope, a big dope!  I am thankful for him because I have always wanted a reptile.  Firebolt(my lizard) can probably run faster than a cheetah!  He’s so cute when he’s asleep!  I accept him as my “baby”.  He hangs out on the side of his rock, “king of the rock.”  Every once and while he gives me the evil eye.  When I’m sick I sneak him out of his cage and lie next to him.  That is why I’m thankful for my lizard.  I am thankful for happiness because without it everybody would be sad and change into depressed.  Then pretty soon people would kill themselves or die of depression.  There would be no laughter, no joy in life.  People would work themselves so hard that they would fall asleep for a million years. 

c It would be a “waste of time” to build carnivals.  The surgeons wouldn’t be sucTessful on their surgeries because they just woultn’t care.  Peple would die from heart failure.  But none of that will happen, because there is such a thing as happiness.  those are four things that I’m thankful for, but I am thankful for so much more.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Chloe Watts

May we all know 4 things today, right now that we could be thankful for.

Over the weekend Colin and his jazz choir, Panache performed at Wilson High School in a solo/ensemble contest.  He had been sick the day before but was determined to be at the contest.  Colin, you rock!  So proud of you too. 

Sign me,

Mother of two immeasureables

Monday, March 2, 2009 An Update and a Toast!

Chloe has improved from having, as her Doc affectionately calls it, “The Cruds”.  She goes to see Dr. “T” today in fact for a weight check.  

As it happens, this is as good a time as any to be in gratitude.  I would like to share another published writing by Chloe as it appeared in the Bridlemile Times.  Let me preface it by saying it is long!  I may print 1/2 today only.  Her teacher was able to encourage her to cut it down in length because this was a ‘toast’ of gratitutde she(as well as the others in class) shared during their Thanksgiving feast in class.  Time was a factor for having all the children read their toasts. Many adults were in attendance and I understand there was an undeniable quiet as Chloe read this:

Thanksgiving Toast By Chloe R. Watts

“I sit here lost in thought.  I usually get preocccupied like this.  My friends, one by one, read their toasts.  No, I don’t mean a piece of toast.  I mean “what they are thankful for.”Mr. Augustine says my name.  I could hear him.  It isnt’ that hard to get me out of my thoughts. I pick up my paper, all eyes are on me.  I get a clear vision on what I’m about to read.

Finally, I’m ready.  I read:  I am thankful for Emanuel Childrens’s Hospital because without them and their staff, I would be dead.  Emanuel gave me hope when I believed there was none.  Emanuel’s staff was always cheerry.  My bad mood never got to them.  They asked me if I needed medicine before they gave it to me.  My nurses played games with me, they took me out to the children’s garden and they even made me root beer floats! 

Without the resources of the hospitals, everyone needing surgery would get a disease from pollution in the air.  That is why I am thankful for Emanuel Hospital.  Without that very hospital, my body would be under ground and my spirit would roam the skies.

I am also thankful for my family because they support me in everything I do.  They teach me new things and make me look up any word that I don’t know.  My family revivies me when I feel I’m near “death.”  All of them are “free spirits.”  None of them are stern because they want to focus on the joys of life.  My family is my blanket on a cold winter’s night.

My family is me.”

………to be continued……………..

Until then I would wonder if we all had to stand in front of our peers, what would our Thankful toast include?

Dana

February 19, 2009 Chloe is under the weather…..`

……She has Croup and more.  Her Dr’s office is officially/unoficially calling it “the cruds’.  She had some enlarged lymph nodes which were painful but better today. Fever, Coughing, sneezing, low energy…   Please keep her in your thoughts for feeling her best ASAP.  She would tell you the, “most miserable thing about this is the coughing.”   

 (
Ron graciously took care of her today while I worked.  He had lunch ready when I arrived home, all without fanfare or ego, just because. She was thrilled to see him arrive with Cool Whip in a can!!( a new sick food) He has just returned from a trip to see daughter Crystl, her hubby Brian and their daughter, Violet who is about 16 months old.  She and Grandpa spent some private time together. 

Colin is working on a collage of himself for a school project.   It is of his face using MANY photo’s of different people….not just boys or men.  I think he is in touch with all sides of himself.  Gotta love Colin…he thinks in a way which I grow from.

 Last night, Chloe’s make a wish team (thank you Kari and Robin…and Colleen in AZ) came to hear her next series of wish’s since the “meet Harry Potter cast etc” fell through.  Perhaps, like her brother she thinks big because she CAN.  She has upped the ante a bit and has made 4 wishes….I will share#1 tonight.  “I want to meet the President.”

When asked why, she replies “Because I have a good feeling about him, I’ve liked him ever since I heard the news people say he read the Harry Potter series with his daughters.”

For her, It’s about Harry Potter who represents a spirit not unlike her own. He came through a harsh situation(for him, it was his family) and yet remained strong. For her, she would mention both the mystery of her illness leading up to the diagnosis as well as post surgery.

At the end of the day, who or what is it about for you?

Dana

If I Were In Charge Of the World. Poetry by Chloe

If I Were in Charge of the World

I’d Cancel divorces,world-wide wars, hard home-work

Pain, and also mean and annoying brothers.

If I were in charge of the world

There’d be healthier people,

Quieter airplanes, and

More unthinkable flowers.

If I were in charge of the world,

You wouldn’t have gas/oil.

You wouldn’t have time.

You wouldn’t have horrific “Muggles”.

Or”I”m going to put Harry Potter in time-out if you don’t do your chores!”(NOOOOO!)

You wouldn’t even have chores!(Yes!)

If I were in charge of the world

A Harry Potter movie would be a Harry Potter broomstick!

All lizards would be able to talk.

Fantasies would become reality.

And a person who sometimes forgot to

Keep quiet and sometimes forgot to not

Make a riot would still be allowed

To be in charge of the World!

By Chloe as published in The Bridlemile Times, Truth with Mercy News

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Thanks all for the beau-ti-ful birthday wishes for Chloe.   It was a big week for her.  Per her request we went to Chuck E. Cheese the night of her birthday and it was nothing short of a MADHOUSE.  They were having school fundraisers galore.  We still had a silly time.  Colin had a crazy sketch of himself done which is laughable.  Chloe and I had ours done together.  Somehow, the pictures are lost among the rubble within this house!

The three of us are Sickly this week.  Colin went first into the ‘head cold zone’ but he is starting to feel better, just wants to sleep.  Chloe has the firey throat and the stomach ache .   

Last week we saw Chloe’s Dr who is concerned but not worried about the 5lb weight loss from Chloe.  Her appetite is down esp.  with this virus.  In 4 weeks we see her Doc again to evaluate her weight and possibly speak with Oncology as well.  A weight loss was unexpected although she didnt anticipate any more weight gain.

Colin wrote a book.  I knew it was to be a big project when his teacher spoke to me about it some weeks ago.  This teacher brought actual books in and the kids recovered them, typed the storyline and pasted it inside with pictures to describe the scene.  Wouldn’t you know it?  One of the characters had a brain tumor…I think Colin is still working alot out under the radar.  The story is also uncanny in ways.  A writer writes what he knows  or what he wants to know MORE aobut I am told.  The cover is Red and it is titiled, Smoke on the Water.  It’s about someone who has been away a long time, but returns…has sort of a war theme.

What I learned from hosting  a small slumber party  with various ages is you don’t really know how the party is going until its OVER.  Chloe went into a mode of “entertainment committee” and she wiped herself out.  Although we had games,prizes and a pinata…still kids get bored and Chloe felt she had to fix it.  Colin and his friend Spencer had a wonderful time.  These two are ‘brothers of the soul”.  They met years ago but havent spent much time together until last Friday.  Was wonderful to have that door reopen for Colin and Spencer again.  At Colins age, friends are SO important.

Oh…did I really MEAN that?   I think friends are important and underrated at any age!

Cheers to friends! Love them, Hug them, Thank them, and remain ONE yourself.  Yes, yes…cheers to friends!

Dana

Cont’d…..xtra message…….see below…important

TEN YEARS AGO THIS COMING THURSDAY, JANUARY 29TH, CHLOE ENTERED OUR WORLD.

THANK YOU FOR BEING, DEAR CHILD FOR US ALL.

Saturday January 24, 2009

As told to me by Chloe : 

Her teacher holds “Writers Workshop” twice a week afterschool .  Chloe attends enthusiastically since she would tell you, “I’m a writer of stories”.  This week in class her teacher asked, “Does anyones’ parents’ drink wine?”.   Chloe said, “Allotta people raised their hand”(including me).  He went on to ask, “Has anybodys parents told you that wine gets better as it ages?”.    Not as many hands flew upward on this perplexing question.  Chloe did raise her hand and a few others followed suit.  He then replied, “Well Chloe is like that for me–Chloe takes a long, long time to write her stories, but in the end they are really really good so I have to wait patiently”.

Do we love that?

This brought up a question for me.  “Chloe…if you love writing so much, why don’t you just insist on writing your own blog on the website more often?”  .  “Mama, she replied….I don’t like writing non-fiction….I like writing stories”.

We attended Allstate last Friday evening at the Hult Center in Eugene.  Colin was chosen, one of four in his school to attend this honored event.  The Hult Center is absolutely a lovely place for him to have performed and get a taste of a professional stage.  He was in the  front center for the choir’s performance.  Although he looked a bit weary, he said he enjoyed it alot.  It was an impressive evening start to finish.  Imagine hearing all these voices come together for just a day to rehearse, learn dance movements etc .and sing as if they’d been together all year.  The director was very engaging as well.  At one point, her music fell and she stopped to say , “In Russia, if our music falls, we must sit on it…otherwise our performance may fall too”…and she proceeded to sit on the music.    The following performances were terrific as well.  I think I have a new fondness for the combination of cello and violin. 

Just for funs sake, we ate at the McDonalds in Albany which was my first job.  Strange!  It is now remodeled and oddly they have chosen to furnish it with prints by one of my favorite artists.  I have a print myself.  Life does come full cirlcle now doesn’t it? 

Chloe will see her regular physician on Monday and this is good timing.  She stayed home yesterday with a whopper of a tummy ache and “wobbly legs” she told me.  A headache also insued and followed her off/on all day.  Hoping this is just an episode of indigestion.  But she compared it to the nausea she felt “before”(surgery) which is the only word she referred to.  In the last two weeks there have been two times rather close together she has mentioned similar symptoms. 

We just ask for happy, healthy thoughts be kept in light of this. 

Interestingly this week we attended science night at her school.  Colin always enjoys that as well.  He made a spyroscope(I may be wrong on the actual name of this )  One table held…gosh..how to say this….ah…brains.  Animal brains.  We were fascinated rather than horrified.  One was of a raccoon with a brain similar to a humans.  The med student(my age) was able to show us the brain stem location and other parts.  His thoughts about tumors with his studies are, “tumors can tend to be more active because of growth hormones….my best guess is that when Chloe stops growing, the tumor won’t either.”  He was very curious because he knew of a same age girl at OHSU with the same type brain stem tumor as Chloe.    Although the brains were interesting, she still loved the marshmallow experiment the best!

We took Ivey on an after dark walk that night which was fun.  We had to use our voices in order to locate each other as we split up to chase her(Ivey, not Chloe)

In these times, taking a walk….looking at the stars …and finding each other in the darkness seems to poetically make sense. 

All best,

Dana

Happy New Year! January 7,20099999999999!!!!!!!

Hello 09!

Today I  watched Untamed & Uncut on Animal planet. Then a story came up where a baby elephant was pushed into a water trough. He landed on his back. He was there for a while before the perimedic came. The perimedic tied a tow rope to the baby elephant’s front legs. He tied the other end to the tow hitch. Then he drove his car a little, which helped the baby sit up. He didn’t hesitate, he jumped out of the trough, and the further he walked the looser the rope got. Soon he was free. He looked back only once, then he rushed to his mother and the herd.

  Bye,

-Chloe

“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow”…December 18, 2008

Suddenly this song takes on a whole new meaning, yes?..

I’m reminded of a saying my mother said through the years.  “Be careful what you wish for”.  Ah, yes….I’ve wanted snow to fall for awhile now.  For me, it represents the peace I long to hear happening in the world and it calls forth a certain quiet attitude.  Have you listened to snow falling? If not, could there be to much noise in your life, in your head?  Not a judgement, just a consideration.

Colin was the first one up to “Woo-HOO” about the snow outside and a no school day to boot.  Excitement is a feeling he express’s well.  Any cynic could use a Colin moment such as this.  This was a sledding kind of snowfall as well.  We’ve had sleds ready for awhile….yay!  Colin braved the harsh chill to be on the slopes of our neighborhood hills first with his set of pals.  Chloe set out the next 2 days and had a wonderful time with her friends as well……….until she discovered there seems to be a missing sled.  HERS.  A plea out to the kids, “Hey friends , who has borrowed Chloe’s sled?”.  She miss’s it and would welcome it back…the simple blue saucer is her ‘flyin’ machine.   After searching for the sled and asking groups on the hill, there was no word of it’s whereabouts.

 My office closed the last 2 days which left me contemplating Christmas in a different, more enlightened way this year.  Be in gratitude for everything I keep telling myself which disallows the uncertainties to blow all out of proportion.  Easier said than done when you’d like to reach the moon and bring it down for those you love.   I watch the news and understand there are those grieving and in more need than we could every wrap our heads around. 

Sometimes our own needs get ‘bumped’ to pursue the bigger picture.  I’m really proud of my kiddos for a family meeting we held in order to decide what to do about a friend’s wish.  Our friend wanted to help save a dog’s life for Christmas.    I had ‘accidentally’ not sent my tithing moolah in for another cause and we held a vote….what do do with this money.  Granted, it isn’t a ton but I’m sure it will count to this One year old Jack Russell Terrier, Macey who had her jaw broken(abuse???) as a pup and it healed wrong, leaving her unable to open/close….eat or drink.  She HAS to have an estimated $2,000 surgery per  the OSU Veterinary Hospital pretty soon. 

Per the Albany Democrat Herald on Nov 26, 2008..”.Macey can’t lick her new friends, she can only open the side of her mouth about a quarter of an inch.  Her food must be moistened and placed on the floor so she can smoosh her face against it and suck it up and she has to submerge her snout to drink water.

After Chloe read this….well let’s just say the sky fell.  She just knew we must help, she just knew this dog must be adopted, right away….by Miss Chloe.  I did, in fact write a letter asking for an update on this amazing little 4 paws.  I did tell Chloe…first things first…let’s be part of Macey’s wellness Campaign.

So, anyone out there feeling like ya got an extra 2 bucks in your pocket?  Here’s the skinny on Macey:

“Those interested in helping to pay for Macey’s surgery can make a tax deductible donation to any Citizen’s Bank under the name Eddie’s Fund (named for a deformed dog that Senior Dog Rescue saved) or send a check to Senior Dog Rescue / P.O. Box 1051/Philomath Oregon 97370 . Donations can also be made to the OSU Veterinary Hospital for Macey’s surgery.”(Albany Democrat Herald)  Please. write on the envelope: I want to see Macey smile.

Ok, my high school friend T.J….may your wish, like snow come true!  Yes, there is a Santa and he has many helpers who give like no one’s watching.  But sometimes we just have to blow our horns for the village to bring their bounty as well.

….and to you, little Macey….our 4 pawed wonder…we send you love to hang in there…help is coming baby!!! No matter who adopts you, may you, like Chloe bring a sweetness to this world and teach us compassion….more than we ever knew we had in us. And may you, like Colin….one day dazzle them with excitement as you sled down a hill on a snow day!

Love,

Dana