ChloeWatts.com

Tues. Oct 28th:

“Those Ba—–s”…!  That’s a direct quote from the little one with the large words when she found out she didn’t really need to be poked during the MRI.   

The news of today probably makes her feel a little better.  The results of the MRI show that the tumor is behaving itself.  No growth, no reduction, just sitting there, which is something it could do for the next 100 years.  It’s the second best news we could have heard! 

Three months from now will be Chloe’s next appointment.  From what they have told us in the past this probably means another MRI to make sure things are the same or better.  Dana will be ready for them this time.  Her one poke rule might just become a no poke rule.  If they can get what they need without contrast… that’s the way to go. 

What’s the good that has come out of this?  Every doctor involved, in fact, everyone in the offices of those doctors, knows what happened and what must be changed in order to prevent a similar occurrence in the future, with Chloe or another unsuspecting kid. 

Today started out as a strange one.  Lots of phone calls, some other family and friends medical issues.  But the word about the MRI sure made things a whole lot better. 

Thanks for keeping the right frame of mind for all of us. 

Blessings,

Ron

Monday, Oct 27th

It’s Monday.  Friday was the date of the MRI.  Dana’s still hot!  About the MRI too. 

Chloe, Dana, Barb and I were at the hospital in plenty of time and, although Chloe was a bit nervous, she went on with it knowing Dana would be in there with her this time.   

So, Chloe in a gown and Dana in scrubs the MRI nurse placed Chloe in position and said, okay, we’ll do about 30 minutes and then bring you out and use a little butterfly.   

Both Dana and Chloe knew what that meant, even though no one said anything about an invasive procedure for today.  They wanted to inject dye to get a contrast look at the site.  With some hesitation they proceeded.   

Halfway through they tried the needle in Chloe’s arm.  The vein wouldn’t accept it so they went to the other arm.  Same thing happened there.  Then they talked Dana into letting them try the hand.  Chloe had it by then.  She let out a yell and Dana pulled the plug on the day.   

Chloe was completely traumatized by the experience and Dana was livid.  She has let everyone in the offices know how she feels about them not preparing her for an invasive procedure.  If they had then we would have opted for sedation, which is exactly what we will now have to go back for on Nov. 7^th.   

If there is a good part to all this it is that they have part of the MRI completed.  Now we just have to calm Chloe down enough to get her back there.  She said she NEVER wants to go back there.  As good as she is a patient she knows when enough is enough. 

However, we will be back there.  We know this is what is needed to assure that the tumor has left the building.  The one stick rule is going to be in place so they better get it right the first time or I wouldn’t want to be in their smock.   

For now then, Chloe is back bouncing around being a typical nine year old.  Other than a cold she is doing very well and looks just better than anytime in the past that I’ve known her. 

Keep the high watch for us.  We know we are blessed by all of you. 

Ron

QUICK UPDATE REGARDING MRI THIS FRIDAY

WE WONT HAVE RESULTS OF THE MRI UNTIL NEXT WEEK.  

Oncology phoned me today to let me know these special circumstances.  One of their Dr’s had an emergency and needed to be with their family. We can still have the MRI scan but the results won’be be known until we receive a phone call next week.   Do I hear PATIENCE calling?

I decided not to re-schedule the MRI as this would burden Chloe.  There is no school on Friday and this is a perfect day to proceed.

Colin, in the meantime has broken out with spots.  I’m reading in the medical books about the possibilities.  Only on his hands/fingers/arms and some on his legs.  Yep, they itch.  Could be one of several things and watching them for futher symptoms is ok for now.  It even mentioned more than once how skin outbreaks…can be stress related.  These look smaller than mosquito bites, bigger than flea bites.  He is taking a benedryl and going to bed.  So a Dr appt may be in his future too.  Me on my does it ever end?  He’s already had chicken pox…two times.

Love and all that jazz,

dana

Tuesday Night, October 21 2008

Chloe is on a mission.  She is writing a personal narrative about her summer. She is also having to relive it through the process of journalling it.  I must reveal to you the title of this is”My Favorite Summer Memory”. Surprising, yes? 

This is her choice.  Her teacher gave her an option to write about something else.  We will support this although it brings up ‘old moments.  With her questioning heart this evening came many blank moments for me as far as dates, times, places etc.  I have written in my own journal of the events as I perceived them.  I contemplated,  then invited Chloe to saddle up next to me and listen to the retelling through my eyes.  There were tears…for us both.  We only made it through part of the experience as that seemed the most gentle.   We agreed we are the greatest of partners in all of this.  She enjoyed thinking about the moments of who was there with her, how WE(the adults spent our time) while she was in the hospital.  We seemed, as a unit to watch the 11:00 news. 

She rememberd that she/I watched Leno.  This was appropriate because of the midnight rounds.  We were left alone from midnight till 4am most nights.

Childrens Cancer Society have been a beautiful support Team for Chloe.  They sent us 4 tickets to an event Chloe was so interested in.  It’s called Wolf to Woof.  Its held at the Forestry Center until January .  We attended last Sunday for “Doggie Palooza”..oh my gosh….dogs from every walk of life were there.  We didnt take Ivey cause she isnt cooperative onleash with other dogs.   Colin, Chloe and I enjoyed learning about war dogs, many breeds of wolves, our roles in history and best of all?  We came across a Dove Lewis(A local 24 hr hospital for animals) table which held their latest newsletter.  I had heard Chloe and her pal “Jake”(A golden retriever who makes miracles happen through his work as an animal assisted therapy dog and his owner Patty) were to have their picture in it.  I reached for the newsletter and found it ASAP.  Chloe was thrilled!!!  She saw her pic/article with she and Jake and felt like a star.  The woman in the booth asked if she could shake Chloe’s hand. 

We gathered treats for Ivey that day and took home a sense of doglove that Sunday, bigger than we thought possible.    We envision all who read the article touched by the magic Jake brought to a little girl in a dark room during a dark time.  Jake isnt a big talker…he’s a big listener.  “And I like him” says Chloe.  

Chloe wants you all to know “I am staying up through the night to write my personal narrative”.   This must be a high value she holds.  Of Course I won’t let he stay up till wee hours to write.  But she will beleive she did because of the energy/focus we gave it.  Freedom to express.

We are also hopeful our dear friends baby went home today.  All was looking favorable.  Thanks to many thoughts, prayers or whatever you call your ‘wishes’.  Thank you.

Sometimes, in a moment we give away our greatest fear.  And by doing so, it leaves us.  I think Chloe and I said our final goodbye tonight………….to the tumor.  Friday is her MRI.  Feel the wings………See her soar….hear the unravelling.

Thank you for the healing.  It’s over. She is Powerful.(special thanks to kathleen for this mantra of faith)

 The Universe

Wednesday night, October 15, 2008

Farewell thee the full moon; a doozy this one.

 I say this having a dear friend whose newborn daughter is in the Neonatal Unit at Legacy Emanuel Hospital.  Bless you little one, I know you are in good hands and all is looking in your favor.  It brings both comfort and chills to this mother knowing another mother is sitting vigil.  A whispered wish for little “Prana Rose”(She is the daughter of my bellydance teacher) and to her parents this night.

While I was reading about this dear child’s birth, my big children were across the street ‘acting on a whim’.  Chloe had an idea she brought Colin in on.  They had brought some green balloons home from Church on Sunday and we had one left with life in it.  For no apparent reason, Miss Chloe had the notion to tie a dollar bill to it and set it free.  No, she cant tell you why.  There are no Why’s for children/people such as this…they are the doers of the world.  No matter what.  I asked her if she made a wish on it.  She replied nonchalantly, “No, I hope it lands in good hands”. 

Indeed it shall. 

To clear up any possible misunderstandings regarding Chloe’s last blog, I was present and pre-read what she wrote.  I wasnt portrayed in the best light although  I did ask her if I could edit the second time she told of my swearing(by the way, I do know many other words although my freedom words often spike in the evenings).

She said this regarding my request, “No Mama, I want them to know we’re a REAL family”.  Apparently it wasn’t interesting enough to make the news regarding the movie and dinner out we all had (a big deal from my perspective).  In my defense, there is no defense. 

Medical update is this:  Her Dr. reduced the Periactin (appetite stimulant) recently down to 1/4 tablet since she was outeating both Colin and I plus had an all night , mother-of-all-stomachaches last week.  The Doc still wants her to drink the once a day Pediasure for the vitamins/minerals it contains.  I phoned today to let the Dr. know since the reduction of Periactin, her appetite is still more than appropriate.  She is cleaning her plate at least once!  Am awaiting word to discontinue use of Periactin altogether.  This would make Chloe smile.  She is looking forward to being “medfree”.

School pictures were taken today.  Chloe says “They made you bend your head, turn your knees and bend your elbows”.  Sure this isn’t Yoga? 

Simple things matter.

School pictures. A recently bathed dog. A clean kitchen(thanks colin/chloe)…..and most of all…….being home.  Not everyone is this night.

Dana

Sunday October 12

Hi it’s me Chloe.

It’s been another day in “Lala Land”. Last Wednesday, I sprained my pinki playing Kickball. It still hurts a little bit, but I’m OK. It’s hard for me to write though.

Anyway on Thursday I got a package from “Wolfman” a friend of Mama’s friend James. There was a “Spooky Town” collectible in the package. It works of course, it’s REALLY cool, too.

Colin & Mama are going to wach a movie called “Double Jeopardy”. Colin’s preparing the movie. I hid the tape, & Colin found me out. He tickled me wich made me fall off the side of Mama’s bed. Mama of course, started swearing. Then Colin messed up with the pop corn and she started swearing .

I’ve got to go.

-Chloe

Saturday October 11th Pictures

Tues, Oct. 7th

Chloe continues to surprise us.  Does every fourth grader have an interest in watching the Presidential debates?  Her only question as she listened was, “Mama, do we have health insurance…..do I, (meaning her,) have health insurance?”   She left the couch to go upstairs for more spaghetti and said “keep me posted  on what happens”…  Interesting. 

Chloe mentions her right leg/ankle being sore.  “I can’t run,” she says.  We’ve mentioned this to her Dr. and I believe we are in a ‘we’ll see’ how things continue mode.  Now that the focus can be off her weight we can give attention to the overall muscles as they exist for the first time.  

School is still a very positive experience for her this year.  Her self-confidence is high and it shows.  All of this leads us to more and more believe the tumor is retreating.  That’s the belief we are asking of you as well. 

Be well, 

Dana

Sunday Oct 5, 2008 P.M.

Update on bithday party yesterday:  Wonderful!  A ‘hit'(the girls all met at Laserport…to laser tag each other).  Chloe had a great time her Aunt Laura/Uncle Kevin told us.  They picked her up at the birthday party while Ron played a gig and I went to enjoy it. 

 Colin spent some time with Kevin and Laura at Powells books downtown while Chloe was ‘shooting’ her friends! Powell’s is one of the largest bookstores ever.  He showed me the books he found and is using this evening. (They both have to do with video gaming and so I keep in mind  this knowledge could actually lead to a future job…..just like cousin Jeremy)  I didnt arrive home till after 11:30 pm.  Unheard of!!! Thanks you two for staying with the kiddos and for taking them/picking them up so they could expand their world.

Chloe spent some time today not feeling well to tell you the truth.  This morning it was tummy upset and tonight there was a headache.  Not the best combo.  She rallied in both cases, just layed a little low for awhile and felt some better.  Just wasnt her day today overall. 

Ivey has landed in the doghouse because she is obsessively trying to ‘get’ chloe’s Dragon, “Firebolt”.  She is overturning the desk chair, yowling and yipping at us if we get near her to move her out of the room.  Firebolt just ‘flares’ at her and cocks his head to see how far this can really go. 

Over the weekend, Chloe brought her school journal home.   She had the option of writing about something else, yet decided instead to write about the summer of 2008.  It was good to help her clear up some interesting details.  Clarity is a step away from letting go of our past, often times.

Thanks all for checking on us! 

So much love.

Dana

Friday Oct 3. MRI NEWS…..

We have a date for Chloe’s next MRI.  Friday, Oct 24th , 8:45 am followed by an Oncology appt @10:30 am to review the results.  There is no school that day so this seemed a natural first choice.

Time to vamp up our belief the tumor is indeed gone.  Chloe is sure.  Now its time to prove it!  I’m asking you all to believe. 

This morning she was funny as we prepared her breakfast of oatmeal. She asked me to stop ‘raving’ about her weight.  I’m including the rest of us only cos I figured if she’s targeted me, it may be a sign she’d like to stop hearing about her amazing transformation altogether.  Not sure, it’s only a guess.  She seemed to think because I was putting heavy cream in the oatmeal rather than milk only, I was trying to fatten her up.  Sheesh, I said, “Chloe I’m just trying to use up the cream, silly …I wasnt even thinking about anything else”. 

She is certainly enjoying having her dragon, “Firebolt” here.  He rides around on her shoulder and it may appear he is helping her with her math homework.   I’m going to ask Ron to take a picture of the two of them and we’ll post it!  Look for that in the future. 

Colin is in a singing group called, Panache this year .We went to the annual spaghetti feed this week to support the choir.  Chloe grabbed a cookie BEFORE finding out there was a separate charge. The cookie became paid for so she wouldnt be known as the ‘cookie nabber’.  Truthfully, I noticed the moment and it helped me rewrite her past.  Food rocks for her now!  

Rain has made it’s presence known here and I must admit, the soothing sound is helping me slow down from the constant overwhelmed feeling.  

Love to all,

Dana

Sept 30 from dana

Exuberance. Radiance.  Energy.  Chloe is all and more. 

Here is what excites me.  She is going to a birthday party this weekend of her friend who kept the cards, notes, gifts and energy going and going.  This young girl has a mother who is a Dr. at Legacy where Chloe was and who visited us often .  If I had been told 3 mos ago that Chloe would be at this 10th birthday party I would have been uncertain.  It seems amazing to watch life happen, esp after ‘life’ seemed to have stoppped, or ok..taken a big, long detour during the summer.

I also find it interesting this birthday event will be held at the place where Colins 13th party was to be held but was cancelled.  It is a good reminder to reschedule this for him.   Who says a birthday party HAS to happen on an actual birthday???  Anyone who knows me, knows there lies a Rebel inside, a rulebreaker….

Chloe is in her element right now as her dragon, firebolt is temporarily living with us while her dad and Ramona go on a much deserved vacation/belated honeymoon.  We are happy they have something so wonderful to look forward to!  In the meantime, “Firebolt” is making himself comfortable having Chloe watch after him full time.  He and Ivey met…nose to nose and all went better than expected.  Ivey seems more intruiged with the cage than the actual occupant.  Both kiddos took Ivey on a separate walk tonight and I picked up some home made chicken and also heart shaped cheese treats for her.  We really think Ivey had a rough summer too.

We havent yet been contacted regarding the MRI which is supposed to occur next month.  There is some anticipation surrounding this event, as one may imagine.  Chloe seems to want to visit the nurses more than she is concerned with “her” experience with yet another MRI/anesthesia

I wonder about all that is happening now.  Not just inside my family but surrounding America right now.  We feel so fortunate to have a safe, un forclosed upon house for instance.  What will come of others?  We wonder, becuase we are all connected after all, arent we? What happens to one, happens to all.

May we all take the attitude of gratitude, of giving and of listening.

Dana